Bloody Mary time

Dear 6 readers, I am not abandoning you. Things are very hectic right now and my shoulders seem to be solidly clamped in a tense shrug. I haven't read The [Goddamn] Rules in a week and I am positively remiss in that I have not posted my tribute to Elizabeth Taylor. Guys, she always wore necklaces. Obvs, I loved her.

But for now, as my shoulders creep terrifyingly close to my ears for the millionth time in an hour, my thoughts turn to booze. You may or may not know that I am a HUGE fan of the bloody mary. I love tomato juice so so so much, so adding exciting things like limes and celery and booze is just like the greatest thing I could imagine. You can have your mimosas! Wait, I like mimosas, too...

Anywhoozle, here's a great little article on the science of bloody marys. It's genius. After you read that come back for my recipe.

WELCOME BACK! Here's my bloody mary recipe, which may or may not totally fly in the face of the above article. It's kind of choose your own adventure.

First you have to decide what kind of a booze mood you are in. Do you want a bloody mary (vodka), bloody margaret (gin), or bloody maria (tequila)?

Get a glass. Put some ice in it. Put some booze over the ice. I do like 1 - 1.5 oz of booze, but feel free to make it to taste. Lush.

Okay, here's where it gets crazy. I hate swizzle sticks and their ilk, namely those stupid little cocktail straws. I like to never have to mix everything up. So I take the glass with booze and rocks and then add my ingredients:

* A couple of dashes of Worcestershire sauce (obvs if you are vegetarian, skip it)
* A shake of pepper
* A dab of horseradish
* Squeeze a quarter of a lime in there. Just a small one is fine.

And then we get back into choose your own adventure:

Do you want it spicy? Add a shake or two of Tobasco.
Do you want it awesome and spicy? Add a little bit of Sriracha instead.
Do you want it a little bit spicy and smokey? Add a couple of shakes of chipotle sauce.

I cannot overestimate how awesome chipotle sauce is in a bloody mary. You'll never not have it in your cupboard again.

Okay, now it is time to shake the living daylights out of the bottle of tomato juice and pour it on top to fill the glass ALMOST all the way. Clamato is fine. Don't use V8. Trust me.

Then! Top with another squeeze of lime and a couple of shakes of lemon pepper. Garnish with whatever you like. I am a celery believer (better than a swizzle stick), but I know some people put olives or pickled green beens in their drinks. Whatever you want, really.

Then you can just drink up! For me, it takes about half as long for me to drink the thing as it takes to make but it is SO worth it. Enjoy!