E - is for Elaine - Born in a Bar

No, I was not born in a bar.

I was born in a small hospital in New York City, back when New York City had more little neighborhoods within it than today. But after you hear the story, you will agree that my first name - Elaine - was born in a bar!

My mother's side of the family had a naming tradition for the first daughters born in each generation. Each girl took her mother's first name as a middle name. It is just how it was done.

And so ... my grandma's name was Leona. My mother's name was Elaine Leona. My name was to be Barbara Elaine. Remember, it is just how it was done.

Mom went into labor and was put out for the birth (typical of the time). Then I was born. Simple so far, right?

Dad, being Dad ... being a new Dad ... decided to celebrate my birth by going to a local bar. After all, mom was still unconscious, I wasn't much of a conversationalist at the time, and they didn't serve beer at the hospital. No point in just hanging around.

From here the details get fuzzy (beer was involved, remember?) but it might very well have gone something like this:

_____

Dad: (walking up to the bar with a big smile on his face and sitting beside another patron) Big day for me, Bartender. I'll take a beer.

Bartender: Comin' right up!!

Patron: (probably had a few already) biig daay, uhh?

Dad: Right. Today I am a father!

Patron: fablous!! le me buy yur one.

Dad: Wow, thanks!!

Patron: sooo, le me toots youu tooo.

Dad: (many toasts and rounds of beer later ... ) yeeaap, a lille grl, like herrr mmom.

Patron: what'cha call'en hher?

Dad: hmm, ... giv me minute. ooohhh yesss (chuckles), Barrbarra Ellanee - wiff's nammme is Ellaane (hiccups)

Patron: WHHAAATT (slips off the stool in outrage, beer spills, other patrons stare). Grrills muuuus be naammmed affer dir muvvers. (Points a finger in the general location of my dad.) Yur wifff willl LOVV ya fer thatt!

Dad: hm-mm, I tik yur ritee. Gotttaaa gooo! (calls over his shoulder as he exists the bar) 'anks a buunch! I ooowes ya.

_____

And so, my Dad returns to the hospital, mom's till out, and he fills out the document for the birth certificate with the name Elaine Barbara. Later Mom wakes up, totally pissed beyond measure.

Dad makes a HUGE hit with his mother-in-law!!!! (NOT!) My name was born in a bar. It is not how things were done!

:-)